365 days ago my “husband” walked out. Yes still husband🙄. Why? Because the system is broken and I am still working on the divorce. That’s another story though, but getting closer each day.🤞🏻 Anyway if you have followed my story through my blogs, you already know I won’t share all the raw details publicly. Just to clarify, the parts I do share aren’t for attention or to put him on blast. I share in hopes that my story can help someone else. Also writing is therapeutic for me and has helped me process it all. With that being said, here I am a year later…
A year that was an uphill battle. A year that’s been messy, eye opening, heartbreaking, challenging, rewarding, and beautiful. It’s been far from perfect, but it’s a story of my faith. I could have easily let heartbreak, anger, and bitterness overtake me this year. I could have let rumors and people’s gossip hurt me. I could be filled with hate, but that’s not who God has called me to be. He’s called me to be faithful. He’s called me to be an overcomer. So at the end of each day, I’ve reminded myself to be thankful because I can’t live my life full of hate or animosity.
Now hear this, being faithful and an overcome doesn’t mean I didn’t feel hurt. It doesn’t mean I was happy or okay about my marriage falling apart. It means that in time I accepted it was for the best, because I allowed God to guide my steps. If you are going through a storm let yourself feel all the feelings. Let yourself scream and cry it out. Let yourself get mad. Let yourself be sad. Spend some days in your sweats eating junk food in bed. But don’t let yourself get stuck. Work through the pain and allow yourself to grow from it. Do what you need to do to feel content and find your closure.
5 Tips from T:
Keep God at the center, it’s the only way to make it through the storm.
Find your tribe, not just friends your TRIBE. The ones that will pray for you, love you, and be by your side every step.
Find something therapeutic to help yourself heal.
People are going to talk and it’s going to hurt, but their gossip doesn’t define you or your situation, so keep your head up.
Remember Romans 8:18 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
To close, I want to share my open letter to my ex and my form of complete closure…
A year ago today you walked out and never looked back. A year ago today everything I thought my future was came crashing down. A year ago today I realized you were everything you promised to never be. In the moment, I thought it’d break me. And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard, if there wasn’t times I didn’t feel broken…but you didn’t break me. Rather you showed me how strong I am. I found myself again. I actually found the best version of myself. I will never understand what happened. I will never know if the person I once loved even truly existed. I may always wonder when I think back how long you faked loving me or why you went through with the marriage…But despite the hurt you caused—I’ll forever be grateful you did. Grateful that your fake love brought me the purest love I’ve ever known, my sweet girl. 365 days without you after 6 years with you, I never thought I could do it. But guess what, I can. And I do it better. Thank you for leaving. Thank you for showing me what I don’t want in a husband. Because of you I now know to never settle and I know what I truly deserve.✌🏻
To my fellow girls never settle and never let a man break you. You are strong, you are enough, and you will be fine. You are independent and capable.
With Love,
T
Dear God,
Today I pray for the person reading this that’s struggling to understand your plan. God I pray for the person feeling heartbreak. God I pray for that person that feels in this exact moment their life is unraveling. Lord guide them through this storm. I pray they embrace your plan and let go of their own agenda. I pray they cling to your promises. Help them to feel your love and peace. Thank you for never failing. Thank you for storms that bring blessings greater than we could ever imagine. Thank you for choosing me to be Akiah’s mommy. Thank you helping me. God continue to give me a heart for you.
Amen
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