Some people need to be the center of attention. Some people require constant validation. Some people need to feel like they are correct and knowledgeable about everything, even when they are actually clueless. Some people are always the victim and do no wrong. These people are what I call a narcissist and they cannot outgrow the behavior, but they certainly can drown you in it.
Let me tell you, you aren't crazy those insensitive comments and rude remarks are intentional. You know the ones I am talking about, the ones that when you respond you are then belittled for not being able to take a joke and told you are just boring.
When in a relationship with a narcissist, you ride an intense wave. At its peak you will be on a high from the love bombing. But as the wave crashes, you'll be depressed from the gaslighting. You go from feeling loved beyond measure to feeling worthless and undeserving. The best way I can explain it is manipulation. The manipulation makes you question yourself and reality.
The person may attempt to isolate you from family and friends. They make you feel like everyone is against you. You believe that others can't support, love, and care about you the way they can. This is a way for the narcissist to maintain control of you.
The narcissist will pretend to make lifestyle changes that will make you happy, just to
continue behind your back and make you feel crazy. But you better believe in front of others they put on a show to make themselves look good.
The toxicity of a narcissistic relationship is unreal. You will feel torn about leaving them, you may be on and off again for a while because ending the high/low cycle is hard. It's like a drug. You will definitely feel love and pain. You will definitely see yourself slowly slip away day by day.
If you are still in a relationship like this, take this as your wake-up call. You don't have to stay. Let this be your sign to walk away and be done for real this time. Know life goes on after that toxic relationship.
But know walking away is just the beginning....
After being in a relationship with a narcissist it can feel almost crippling to be alone. It's been put in your head for months, years, or however long that you can't do it without them. It's been a common theme that they are the best thing that's happened to you. You've been trained to worry more about them and their needs than your own. You've become a yes woman to avoid petty fights. You've pushed your village away and feel like it's impossible. It's not and you can do it.
You have to put in the work to regain your confidence, self-esteem, and restore your own mental health. This looks different for everyone: go to therapy, read a self-care book, find a new hobby, and just invest in yourself.
Some days will be easier than others, but don't look back. Read that again. It's important. Don't look back. Believe me when I say...one text, one comment, one profile creep, or truly any interaction can be a setback for you...go no contact. The beautiful unfriend and block button should be your best friend.
You'll be the villain in their story, as they are always the victim. Wear that villain crown
proudly and smile knowing you made it out. Know who you are and what you stand for and know what you deserve and find it.
If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, I'm sorry. I truly pray you kept swimming and made it to shore. It's a difficult current to navigate, but I promise walking away and moving forward is worth it.
With Love,
T
Heavenly Father,
Today I pray for each person currently in a toxic relationship. I ask that you provide a divine intervention. I don't pretend to know every situation, but father you know. Let your will be done. I pray for healing, courage, and protection for those suffering in their relationship. I pray for those that have already left a narcissist that they remain strong. Restore their minds. Let them follow your voice and your lead as your way is always greater. Lord, we know our worth, value, and purpose comes from you and not any relationship. Thank you for never running out of Grace for us.
Amen
"The pain that you've been feeling can't compare tot eh joy that's coming." - Romans 8:18
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