I haven’t written a blog since December of 2021. To most of you that doesn’t mean anything, but to me it hurts my heart. Not necessarily because I haven’t written anything to share, but because I stopped writing just for me too. Writing has always been therapeutic to me and a form of self-care. In the past couple weeks, I have picked my journal back up and began writing. But today while sitting in the final day of a brutal training, I felt God calling me to go read my old blogs.
In my head, I was like “God why do I need to go read blogs I wrote?” I kept trying to brush it off. Did I really need to go read and relive the past? Then I remembered my most recent daily prayer: “God speak to me moment by moment, so I can hear your voice clearly.” I kind of chuckled to myself as I had that okay God I hear you moment. As soon as I got home, I opened up my blogs and began reading. I quickly realized God wasn’t asking me to read these blogs to relive anything from the past, but rather see my focus had shifted. My focus had shifted from God.
You may be thinking, oh my goodness she backslid. Tanisha stopped being a Christian. No. Definitely not. But I did stop seeking God, turning to God, and fully relying on him. Sure, I was going to church faithfully, still serving in the church, listening to my praise and worship music, and praying. But I haven’t been spending intimate time in my relationship with God. Let me tell you that is a dangerous place to be.
I’ve been so scattered lately. My anxiety has been high. I’ve felt depressed. I’ve had scary and unwanted thoughts. I’ve felt like a failure. I’ve felt like a disappointment. I’ve been overwhelmed. My heart is broken. Everything slowly started crumbling before my eyes. I couldn’t stop it. Honestly, I’ve been hanging on by a thread.
I realize I was turning to everyone around me asking for advice, attention, and help. I was getting mixed answers and mixed reviews on my life. You should do this or that. This is what is best for you. I think this is the outcome needed. But these people whether family or friends are not the author of my life. They don’t know my every thought and desire. They didn’t handpick me for this time and season. They are not the ones meant to make a plan about my future. I was forgetting to ask the most important person…God. When we forget to ask God and respond to life’s twist and turns with emotions, flesh, and the world we create havoc.
God reminded me today that I use to always seek him first. Looking back at my blogs I shared all these scriptures, tips, and encouragement that are perfect for my current circumstance. They are answers to how I am feeling right now. God gently pushed me today to say, my daughter you know to call upon me. You’ve done it before, and I was there. I answered your prayers. I blessed you. I’ll do it again. Seek me.
God reminded me that I can’t just 100% seek him in the bad times and then go through the motions when life is good. You can’t make it with a lukewarm relationship with God. God is not the author of pain and suffering, but when we don’t guard our relationship with him it opens the door for the enemy. When we don’t seek and listen to God’s voice we can step outside of his plan for our life and create a chaos that he never intended.
Our God is not a God of seasons, he is good in every season. We need the Lord guiding our steps every single day. God’s word was not intended to be read when we are upset or need something. It was intended to be a part of our daily lives. Devotionals are fantastic and encouraging, but God also calls us to read and explore scriptures on our own too. God wants us to have an intimate relationship with him that takes consistent dedication.
If your life is a mess right now, ask yourself, when is the last time I fully surrendered to God? When did you give up complete control and yield to the Lord. It’s not easy, but it will always be worth it.
I want to share some key points form a few of my past blogs that really resonated with me today and maybe you will find them helpful too.
In the darkest valleys we must remember, some things break our hearts, but fix our vision. (TobyMac)
The valley is our everyday life where we grow in faith and our relationship with the Lord is strengthened.
Be still and know.
God is working even when we don’t see it or feel it.
Our God is able. He is a God of miracles.
You are enough, because God is enough. You were handpicked by the Lord. You are already loved and chosen by God. God will always provide.
God’s plan may not match our plan, but he promises us goodness. And when God makes a promise he is faithful.
Any relationship in life requires some degree of patience. Our relationship with God is no different. We must be patient and faithful.
Always read God’s word.
Remember: God’s will. God’s way. Your faith.
With Love,
T
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for a love that is unconditional. Even when we don’t deserve it you love us. When we lose our focus, you never leave us. Thank you for Grace. God thank you for being the lord of miracles and the God of peace. God today I pray for anyone reading this that may have lost their own footing and focus. Maybe they feel like I do that, that we’ve created chaos that you never intended. Help get us back on track. God no one desires a lukewarm relationship with you. God set us on fire with a mind, heart, and spirit that focuses on you. God break chains of bitterness, doubt, fear, and sadness. God help us to close the enemy out. Lord, I pray everyone reading this including myself, remembers to listen to your voice and only your voice. God help us shut out the noise of the world and the desires of others. God you are the author of our story. I pray we do not step outside of the plan you have set for us. You are a good Father.
Amen
Key Scriptures
Psalm 46:10 – He says, “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among nations, I will be exalted in the Earth.” Exodus 14:13 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Psalm 62:5 “My soul, wait in silence.”
Jeremiah 32:27 says, “I am the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.”
Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
Luke 22:42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from. Yet I want your will be done, not mine.”
Psalm 27:13-14 “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living! Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." - Isaiah 43:2
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